urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20 nnahoj20 nnahoj20 2006-09-26T18:32:34Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:2107 2006-09-26T18:32:34Z 2006-09-26T18:32:34Z god!! i hate it when these things happen, im still dwelling on things that friends of mine already moved on, its painful and yet i know for myself that i should move on, ive been affecting some of my friends with this problem, and i know its already becoming a burden, why cant things get back to the way they used to. god!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:1960 2006-09-12T18:00:04Z 2006-09-12T18:00:04Z last week, i became a nurse to my very sick brother who was infected with dengue, the hospital`s so boring, good thing he`s confined at st.lukes, at least there`s cable and a shower, while watching TV in the middle of the night, my borther moaned something, i went to my brother and asked him whats the problem, then he just said,"mamatay na ata ako", fuck, those words coming out of my brother made a big impact to me, i didnt know what to say, coz if i were to joke around, he might get mad,i just blanked out... then i just told him that he should go back to sleep.<br /><br /><br />while lying down the sofa and watchin tv, it made me think, i never get to thank him for being the way he was, even though i hated him for being my brother, i was kinda thankful that at least he didnt ask anyone to look after him, but instead, he asked me to look after him in the hospital.<br /><br /><br />(he`s ok now though) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:1753 2006-08-28T14:07:15Z 2006-08-28T14:07:15Z could sad and aqngry mix? thats what im feeling right now.. earlier this evening, my mom picked me up coz we`re celebrating my birthday this evening, we had dinner at edsa shang and everything was so perfect, new food and the main dining hall of the edsa shang was renovated, i was quite amazed coz the old variety of the buffet table that edsa shang was known for became most remarkable because of the new additions, anyways, on the way home, i was joking about my brother being wit another girl aside from his girlfriend and saw them at the glorietta, he said that "buti nlng nakakarating kang glorietta" then i answered back by saying i could commute unlike you, sosyal ka kasi, then he said "buti ka pa nagcocommute kasi hindi mo pinagcocommute mga friends mo" after that, words came out of no where, he just kept on saying things towards my personal life, i just broke out in front of my mother, im so pissed off and didnt even care what my mother was talking about while she was breaking the topic, as soon as we reached home, i stepped out of the car and said thank you for making my birthday memorable, it has been a wonderful evening, and i hope your birthday will be as wonderful as mine.<br /><br /><br />some people could just piss you off like that right on before your birthday, fuck them! fuck those people! fuck those people who lack fuckin attention! fuck those people who just think their gods of their own conquest! fuck every self righteous person! screw you all! screw all pretentious people thinking that they could make differences! screw people who are out of their lines and try to get away with it! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:1348 2006-08-25T20:03:03Z 2006-08-25T20:03:03Z received a call from a call center i applied online, im scheduled for today to get an interview, so i left a note at my dad`s closet to leave some money, like 300 pesos, para makagaan naman ako more or less, wasnt thinking of going to HBC today since im on flexi hours naman, i was just planning to wing all my work today thru my phone, i woke up at around 11am and so excited to go to people support... as soon as i finished prepping up, i went to my dad`s room, and pakshet!!! nag iwan nga dad ko ng money, 100 lang?!?!?! saya di ba? maybe my dad was thinking that its payment enough for me to do cart wheels going to makati!!! GRRRRR!!! anyways, ok lang naman, pero bigyan ka ng dad mo ng 100?!?!? so yun, i went to the interview and in a span of 3 hrs from 1 interview to another, weeeeeeeeee!!!! i got the job!!! miss ko na call center, i mean in terms of just being happy ang enjoying life, it rocks!!! ayoko na ng office job, coz i have this attitude that before i go to sleep, i think of the what to dos for tomorrow and its getting restless already, hahahahaha, thats why i love the call centers, they just make life easier, hahahahaha!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:1212 2006-08-23T19:09:11Z 2006-08-23T19:09:11Z gawdddd!!! i miss working in a call center, i miss scamming american clients!! no deadlines and stuff to worry about... and your never gonna worry about reimbursements...<br /><br /><br />gawdddd!!! kailangan ko uli ng miracle, bigyan niyo ko miracle!!! kahit yun nlng gift mo sakin sa birthday ko!!! i wanna stop worrying about things that will happen in my birthday!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:845 2006-08-18T17:55:03Z 2006-08-18T17:55:03Z earlier at the office, i ran into my cousin, it was my first tym to see her again in 3 years, to cut everything short, we ended up having coffee at tomas morato ealier this evening, we were talking about stuff, about the stuff that i do and she does... she was surprised that though she already knew of my sexuality, it never even came to her mind that i would live by that life style, then i explained things to her... just to end that annoying conversation, i asked her if she had a boyfriend, then she said no, not interested of having one of those yet. thern it came to me, never really had a serious one. at least i think i did, though it seems like it... everything just sank back at me, my frustrations and regrets... sometimes, i just ask myself if i only had made myself open to the market i might have one, though at a point, i feel this apprehension to go through it. i just hate it when the conversation goes to that, haaaaaaaaaaaaaay urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:567 2006-08-09T17:15:27Z 2006-08-09T17:15:27Z i remembered the day when a fortune teller told me that, a great love of yours will be keeping in touch with you before your birthday comes. i was surprised ealier this evening the person i least expected texted, and it was him. i was thinking of what to reply to a blunt message "r u dating any1?"... while thinking of what to reply, a lot of good memories flashed to my head, then i accidentally pressed the send button with out any message written on it. then said "ganda reply mo", hahahahahahaha...<br /><br /><br />i miss the old adobo days, i went online to seek the old members and i was successful chatting with them, i wanna make things work like they used to, i wanna feel that enjoyment again... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:nnahoj20:298 2006-08-01T18:37:19Z 2006-08-01T18:37:19Z have you ever felt that at the moment you wake up, you felt like you`re mad at the world? its as if someone from my has given me the drive to do so...<br /><br /><br />at one point in my dream, i could remeber talking to one of my "suppose to be" ex, i could only remember him giving me quite a disturbing conversation but i could hear him say anything, i could see him beeing upset about omething but i could barely hear what he`s trying to say.<br /><br /><br />earlier today, i received a text message from my brother asking me to do something, i dunno what came over me, i iced him neglecting what he`s asking from me. it felt right, it felt angry and uncomfortable.<br /><br /><br />a while ago, i surfed to a long lost site that opened my eyes to such audacity, i read posts and journal entries, congrats!! im happy for you, never couldve been...